Has it really been 7 months since I last wrote a story?! WOW I am so sorry everyone! I don't know why I go through writing blocks sometimes. I convince myself I am busy, but I think it is honestly just hard to be so open. Since I blog about real life experiences. Mostly real life erotic experiences.... so I noticed it can definitely attract more clients to want to book me, but it also makes other clients feel less special. Any man that I try to get close to in fact. So I go through phases of wanting to shut down and live my life to myself because it is so much more peaceful that way. But the writer in me craves to let it all out.
So this story starts with Bumble. Yes a dreaded dating app. What would I be on there for? Makes no sense to anyone, I know lol. Well I was aching for something special. Something adventurous, something curious, to get myself into. Something that isn't work, because that's the only intimate interaction with men I have. So I had a moment of wonder and downloaded the damn app haha.
When I saw him I remember seeing him before. I definitely saw him the last couple times I had the app on my phone. But I never swiped on him. I guess he looked sweet and like a guy that wasn't an option in my mind. I also used to look for big country boys with bellies and beards. This guy was fit and covered in tattoos, with light eyes and curly brown hair. He looked like a european guy, which was why I think he caught my attention more this time. Traveling to Europe alone last summer had expanded my taste in men. I think it's also a confidence thing, of not allowing myself to believe I deserve to have the hot young dudes I really want. Who knows. :)
We connected and had some chit chat back and forth. We even sent voice notes and his voice was very sexy. He found my social media and raved about it. Right away in worship mode just telling me about pretty I am. The conversation moved over to text, and we planned a coffee date. I wanted something quick and short so I could feel his vibe out. One thing I learned, is even hot guys can be really weird in person. So I never get to excited until I can look right at someone in the eye. We texted on and off through the days before our date. We talked about psychedelics and I explained how I have done mushrooms, and been to peyote and ayahuasca ceremonies and I have never tripped out and had a bunch of visuals. Only for maybe 10 seconds the night I have birth to my son I saw colorful geometric swirls in the forest trees at a ceremony. But that was it. Just One flash of another realm in the past 12 years I have been exploring medicines.
He was shocked and told me he would bring me some mushrooms, he measured it out and said to try this certain amount. I told him we will see.... We also talked about me, and my boundaries. I explained my life, my adult industry career, EVERYTHING. I laid it all out on the table. I told him as much as I am looking for a real connection I just can't do monogamy. That even if I wanted to I am afraid of it, because I feel like it is unnatural for humans. He surprised me with being really understanding about it and explaining his own struggle with monogamy.
So we met up for our date, I spent 2 hours getting ready. Doing skin care, my makeup, and curling all my hair. I wore a sexy little low cut shirt and some tight leggings. It was cold so I had to wear clothes, but I wanted to still be SUPER sexy and strike him with my energy. I am always doing the most, you all know how theatrical I am!
I was sitting there first with my tea and scrolling through my phone. When he arrived and I saw him walk up he was even CUTER in person I couldn't believe it. And so nice, I was SO NERVOUS. Younger civilian guys make me nervous. With older men I am SO confident because I know I am the sweet, young tart! Haha, they appreciate my beauty, and my youth. Younger guys are spoiled and get young hot chicks all the time so I don't feel as special or of a treat. In fact when a guy is even younger than me it really freaks me out. This guy is in his late 20s so I am already on a "meh" tip because I feel like there will always be a limit of his attraction to me because there will always be someone younger and hotter. LOL Insecurities, we all have them huh?
Anyways, we sat there and talked for two hours. He led the whole conversation, and led me through a series of questions. It was the perfect interview. I couldn't stop looking at his cute smile, and his muscles. At one point he lifted his shirt to show me a tattoo in the middle of his stomach/chest area and i saw his whole torso covered in tattoos. I was like whooaaaa sirrr. He also didn't even wait for our date to be over for him to ask me on another one. He asked me out to dinner and then drinks and hangs at a bar the next week. I said yes right away, he mentioned wanting to dress up and go out with me and that he wanted to show me off. Which made my heart skip because I have been with guys who tried to ask me to cover up or blend in more when going out.
As our date ended we were petting some older folks dog and the ladies started to talk to us. Telling us sorry for staring that they can't help it, and that we look like we were made for eachother. She asked out loud who could say no to my Billie Eilish hair, and he was so quick and witty he responded "I'm not" with a big smile on his face.
We walked out to his car and he gave me the mushrooms. Right away he went in for a kiss, pushing me against his car. I absolutely loved his fearlessness. A couple days passed and I found a kid free night to myself. I decided to take the shrooms. I was going to split the dose in half and take it little by little, but I said fuck it and ate the whole portion. My house was super clean and my dog walked so I set up camp in my bedroom. I put on my pink Kitty Quinn light sign and the live action Peter Pan movie from the early 2000s because it was a movie that always makes me feel safe. I relaxed with a bunch of fruit and water bed side. I ended up on the phone with one of my best friends Renna Ryan. We talked guys, situationships, motherhood, health, friends, etc. I knew I was starting to feel good. I feel like when I do mushrooms there is always an actual moment, that hits me like a wave over my whole body when I can feel it set in.
As I was talking to her I looked up at the movie, and it looked different. I've watched this movie probably once a month, for like 20 years now! I have never seen it look like this. The people looked like cartoons, smooth and colorful. Then the scenes started to turn into patterns. I even saw a ton of snake patterns! I looked over at an Egyptian pillow in my room and the hieroglyphics were glowing and waving around.
I was delightfully surprised to be having visuals! I told Renna and we giggled together. We got off the phone so I could experience some time on my trip alone. I nibbled on fruit, and laid in my bed melting. For a little while I laid in my bed with my ukulele and strummed the strings. My sinus' got all fucked up though and I had a stuffy nose and leaky eyes most of the time.
There was a really cool spiritual feeling moment I had. I remember thinking I saw a white smooth hard round orb out of the corner of my eye in the air near the roof. It looked like a smooth metal oval like shape. It is hard to explain lol, but then I also saw a pinpoint of light. Then, I had that feeling like someone walked into the room. Someone very tall. Then it felt like a whole group of tall beings walking in my room. Then I felt them come over to me and pet my forehead. It even felt like cold wind blowing on me. That was it, a short moment, but I was so excited to have such a clear experience though!
I was texting with the guy who gave me the shrooms. Whom I was just crushing over SO hard being so trippy. I have always heard mushrooms were a heart chakra focused medicine. I was laying there watching Peter Pan, having my first ever trippy experience, so grateful, and so unable to wrap my mind around how for 12 years I have gone to peyote and ayahuasca ceremonies, and tried different sources of mushrooms and I never had an experience like this before. I always told people I thought it might be me, my mental state, maybe to afraid to wonder into other realms in such a strong way. I don't know shit about astrology, but I know I am a Taurus..an earth sign. So I really love to stay right here on Earth lol.
I thought maybe it was him. I also thought whoa, he LOOKS LIKE a Peter Pan. Haha, he has the cutest wild curly hair, mischievous eyes, and a perfect pixie nose. I texted him all of this being silly and flirty, telling him thank you for taking me to Neverland.
I was super worried I was going to be weird and shouldn't be texting him while I was on my journey. But oh boy he made it even better. He was texting me, with his fearlessness again. Telling me how interested in me, how he understands me and my life, how he wants to be apart of it, and wants to explore me. I was absolutely blushing in my bed enjoying waves of intense dopamine going over me. I have my trauma, so of course in my mind I know this is just another fleeting fairytale moment but I wanted to enjoy it. For years I have been through many experiences with men where they are afraid of or intimidated by me. That is literally why I got my Medusa tattoo on my chest. That is how I feel, beautiful yet cursed. Really dramatic I know, but I the main character in my own movie life right?
I enjoyed my few minutes of feeling like a little girl again. Like when you were a teenager and would crush SO hard on a guy. He was just SO forward and direct, and I know it is all bullshit and actions are what really tell the truth but it was so nice to have a hot guy being sweet in my phone.
I turned on my red light therapy lamp and started to take some pics and videos. It is a light that has all these benefits like healing skin faster, and helping with winter depression. So I took pics of my shadow in the red light, and a nude video playing around on my bed. It was feeling so good, and I got so excited to see all the lines and shadows around my room. Taking pictures of cool shapes I would find.
So I had the happiest trip ever, because Peter Pan was my favorite Disney movie as a kid, and my biggest fantasy. And I got to pretend for a night I was talking to a real life Peter, that alien beings came to talk to me, and I had fun playing in my room.
Now I am back to reality, and the day after I started a new journal and picked up my paint brushes again. It has been a while since I have done either. Or even blog! As you can see here. I actually realized all my old blogs from EmilyMonroe.com may be archived on the internet somewhere and I would really love help finding those if anyone out there can.
Anyways, this weekend I travel to LA to shoot with Samantha Saint. I am super excited as she is so beautiful and I know we will make some amazing visuals! I am going to try to make a vlog for this trip actually and my Patreon page so keep an eye out for that too BTW. I also want to say thank you to everyone on my Onlyfans page because it is the best it has ever been ! I have so many costumes and bodypaint shows planned for the upcoming month. I also need to back trap and write about my wild European travels! Soon! xoxox -Kitty